A divorce happens every 36 seconds in the United States. That means there are roughly 876,000 divorces per year, 16,800 divorces per week, and 2,400 divorces per day, according to C.E.L. & Associates. That’s a lot of divorces. Clearly, divorce is a lot more common than we realize, and it’s definitely not as taboo of a topic as it used to be.
Arsiak Vartenian is a lifestyle influencer and entrepreneur focused on helping people become the best versions of themselves. Despite the heartbreak and pain of Arsiak’s ugly divorce 12 years ago, she has recognized that getting a divorce was one of the best decisions she’s ever made. She now advocates, not necessarily for divorce, but for women stepping outside their comfort zones in order to get what they want and be where they want to be in life. Arsiak says, “In life, if we want change, we have to get uncomfortable. Change starts within us.”
In what ways do you help people become the best versions of themselves?
Arsiak Vartenian: To help people become the best versions of themselves, I truly invest time into people – get to know who they are, where they are at in life, and what their specific needs are. I meet people where they’re at and discover ways to help them move forward while helping them to see the best versions of themselves.
I believe that hearing what people have to say is so important – not just listening to them, but truly hearing them. In life, I lead by example and use life-altering experiences that I’ve gone through and lessons I’ve learned to help others become the best they can possibly be.
What inspired you to become a lifestyle entrepreneur?
Arsiak Vartenian: Honestly, what I do as a lifestyle entrepreneur came naturally to me. Back in high school, I was always the person that my friends came to when they needed to borrow clothes or ask for advice, and I think that’s because I found myself thinking outside the box in those difficult situations.
Not once was I fearful of saying what I felt or being exactly who I was. I’ve been through so much throughout my life, so my family and friends have always come to me for advice, for pretty much any reason you can think of.
I just truly enjoy helping people; I’ve been called a “connector” so many times, and I think it’s accurate. Being able to connect other people and connect with other people is incredible.
What tools from your profession do you use in your personal life?
Arsiak Vartenian: All of them! From my background in real estate, I definitely use my negotiating tactics on a day-to-day basis; I’m not one to settle. I’m really passionate about personal development and am constantly finding ways to push myself in the right direction and become a better person.
If I’m going to vocalize something and preach it to others, I hold myself accountable to pursue my own advice. My biggest intention is to be genuine, so in order for me to feel confident in myself, I have to apply those principles to my personal life.
What made you begin to educate others about divorce?
Arsiak Vartenian: Coming from a Middle Eastern background, divorce is very frowned upon. After struggling in my marriage for so long, it was extremely difficult to accept the fact that I was getting divorced; I felt embarrassed and shameful. It was even more difficult to tell my family – especially my parents – that I was getting a divorce.
After getting out of that situation, I recognized how important it was to help others who are struggling because I had been through those same experiences. After my divorce, it was almost like a domino effect: women started coming to me left and right to hear my personal advice. I never wished for another person to feel the way that I felt throughout my divorce, so I decided that to share my story.
Divorce has been a taboo topic, but it shouldn’t be! People need to feel happy. They need to feel loved. If you are in a marriage that isn’t working and divorce is your last option, that is okay. Both people in a marriage get one life and they both deserve for it to be a happy, fulfilling one.
What else would you like for our readers to know about the work that you do?
Arsiak Vartenian: The work that I do is something I truly care about. It allows me to wake up each morning genuinely excited for the day and the opportunities that may arise. I truly care about other people and helping them become the best versions of themselves because it’s important to grow, in some way, every single day.
I love the work that I do because I am able to turn my sufferings and the difficult situations I’ve gone through into ways I can improve the lives of others. The beauty is in our differences, but we have to recognize that we are all very similar and can learn from one another.
For those who are considering divorce, what would you say to them?
Arsiak Vartenian: There is no simple “yes” or “no” answer when it comes to divorce. If you are considering divorce, be prepared for a rollercoaster. I won’t sugarcoat it: The two worst things I’ve endured in life are death and divorce. With divorce comes a range of emotions; your emotions will consume your mind some days, and it’s difficult. I would highly suggest having an amazing support system around you and ensure the people you surround yourself with have sense for you when you can’t provide sense for yourself.
You will need that sense more than you know. When your divorce is over, don’t dive into the next relationship right away. This is a time to invest in yourself; allow yourself time to explore your aspirations and what truly makes you happy before trying to find that in someone else again.
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Multimedia Content Creator Tammy Reese is an Award-Winning Journalist and Writer. Tammy currently serves on the Communications Committee for New York Women In Film and Television. She also is The Founder of Visionary Minds Public Relations and Media.